Buy Less and Use More? Explorations in Changing our Consumption Habits
“I went home and started throwing things away…There was an immensity of things, an overburdening weight…” Don DeLillo, White Noise
Did you know The Princess of Wales wore a rented gown to a gala in 2022? It was an event focusing on solutions to pressing environmental concerns and attendees were asked to focus on sustainability in attire, but she’s not alone.
Cate Blanchette opted to re-wear only, i.e., no new outfits, at a film festival in 2020.
In 2019, Jane Fonda vowed not to buy any more clothes.
The average garment is worn only about seven times. Americans typically buy at least one clothing item a week (yes, a week!). Some of us can even find things we’ve had for years with the tags still on, or garments we’ve worn only once or twice. Most of us have $7000 of unused stuff. I wasn’t able to verify the origin of this last figure, but look around you. It makes sense doesn’t it?
The Jane Fonda pledge stuck in my mind even though, like the Princess and Cate, I’m quite sure they all have more, and more expensive, clothes in their closets than I. Yet, when I look in my closets and drawers, if I’m completely honest, I do not need more.
And it’s not just clothing. When I see post-holiday or post-birthday curbside piles of my neighbors’ trash, piles which often include many things that seem worthy of repurposing or donating, I wonder, have you thought about the state of our planet?
So I wanted to explore how we go from avid buying to buying less.
Pre-contemplation is the first step of habit change, and you’re doing it by reading this article and thinking that maybe there’s an issue to consider here. In contemplation, the second step of change, we think we might have a problem and maybe we need to change our behavior, but we’re not at all sure.
Contemplating, just thinking about your relationship with your stuff, is an important part of getting to the point of buying less.
Here are some questions to consider when you contemplate adding to your, or other people’s, possessions.
1. Are you seeking a quick fix? You’re feeling sad, lonely or hurt and decide, instead, that you’d rather be looking on-line for the perfect purchase, feeling that little bump of dopamine as the possibilities are perused. You know unwrapping the package will create another little thrill that feels so good you will briefly forget you were bored or sad a moment ago.
Like using drugs, shopping to avoid feeling sad, lonely, hurt, anxious or other negative emotions is a short-term fix. And, like all drugs, you need more and more to keep the feelings at bay. Those feelings will return to haunt you as soon as the shopping is over and the gift to yourself arrives, is unpacked and lodges itself at the back of your closet. Then you will need more stuff so you can go through that cycle again. It will never be enough.
Addressing the feelings may be more difficult but also provides more of a lasting fix. You may be able to wait it out, since most slightly negative feelings dissipate on their own. You could address it in some other way. If it’s loneliness, call a friend. If you’re feeling hurt, consider how to begin letting go of that feeling in a more intentional way. Considering what you are feeling and how to approach it head-on is more useful than cancelling it out, temporarily, with shopping.
2. Is this pure excitement seeking? In addition to the improved mood which can come from retail therapy, waiting for the on-line purchase to arrive also provides the joy of anticipation, a joy that sometimes exceeds the pleasure of possession. It can sweep aside the doldrums of daily life and affords us the promise of something better. But what are you really seeking? Maybe you’re looking for more meaning or connection in your life.
Find a new hobby. Read a Scandinavian thriller. Talk to your neighbor or the person next to you in line at the store. Take a trip. Visit a friend. Learn something different. In other words, do something instead of buying something. The positives, whether of fun, connection, meaning or memories, will be much more lasting and significant than what you get from that new bracelet. As a real fan of the bangle, I feel authoritative on this subject.
3. Are you trying to create a false sense of confidence? There’s an event to attend and you think a little black dress will boost your confidence. Maybe finding the perfect earrings (guilty as charged) will clinch things on the first date.
Yes, these things may add a snippet of confidence, but what is it you really need?
Having a few conversational gambits to employ (read the news), tapping into your inner strength (you’ve succeeded at more difficult things), boosting your confidence (try a power pose) and being authentic (be your amazing self) are more likely to get you through a difficult social situation.
4. Have you latched onto something unimportant? People are coming over and you think your place looks like a dump. Sprucing it up will make the party more fun. Maybe you’re thinking of taking your first yoga class and it’s a little intimidating so you decide acquiring yoga togs will get you through.
Relying on your furnishings, your amazing new sound system or Lululemon are not going to make your party or yoga a better experience. These are the unimportant accoutrements of life, not the real deal.
Sure, clean the place for the party, but the real deal is you being interesting, interested, amusing, fun and, of course, providing good company, food and alcohol (in moderation).
Sure, wear something comfortable to yoga, but face your fear of the new by watching a few intro yoga videos instead of shopping and you’ll see that you can manage it fine with more knowledge of what you’re getting into.
I’m not saying the stuff won’t help you feel more secure, but I’m also saying that taking a few moments to question the need and how else you might address that need is more direct and effective. Sometimes you realize the urge to buy disappears. You’ve created waste if you get the stuff and decide the sounds system is way more than you need or yoga is not for you.
5. Are you adding to your clutter? You’re on a vacation and decide you need something to help you remember it (in addition to the 50 selfies). What better way than finding the perfect souvenir, right? Souvenirs remind us of the good times we had at the beach, in the mountains, wherever.
Not to be a Debbie downer, but you can spend a lot of time during that good time looking for the perfect souvenir instead of enjoying the scenery, doing something novel or having a fun conversation with your travel partner or a fellow-traveler.
While keeping mementos and important possessions makes sense, clutter upsets us. Ask yourself whether you really need that refrigerator magnet (guilty again) or shell to remember the beach trip.
6. What does the environment need? Our stuff really does affect the environment. We make, buy and throw out too much stuff. Buying green is not always better for the environment. Buying used is an improvement. Not acquiring things, especially those you do not need, is better.
You don’t have to be an eco-warrior, but choosing whether to buy, or not to buy, based on the impact of your behavior on the planet can boost confidence and help you tap into gratitude for what you have. That makes you an all-around nicer person to hang with.
7. Does your friend need that new…? After I sent a friend a link to a New York Times article about our grad school town and she said she’d exhausted her free, monthly articles I thought, aha, a great gift that won’t eventually wind up in the landfill. Money toward a trip I was planning was a welcome birthday gift for me one year. There’s always the donation of money, trees or whatever, also not winding up in the landfill. Gifting your time or services is another creative solution for friends and loved ones, e.g., I’ll clean your house for your birthday or dog sit next time you’re away. Of course, sometimes you just know the perfect thing someone wants, and that’s fine, but often there are alternatives.
8. Could you reduce, reuse or recycle? We’re accustomed to recycling household goods. This may not seem as relevant when it comes to things like clothing, shoes and jewelry, but if you use your imagination, you can see it.
Reduce waste by darning your socks. Okay, maybe not, but you can probably sew up that hole in the armpit of your shirt in less time than it takes for one episode of Stranger Things. Buying used clothing and shoes, vintage or renting if you can live with that, are simple ways to reuse. Storing makeup in the container you got your strawberries in instead of buying a makeup organizer is reusing. When I cut off the weird trumpet sleeves that were fashionable for a minute to come up with a perfectly serviceable three-quarter sleeve top it was reusing instead of discarding. And it felt like having a new blouse.
I now know those sleeves could have been recycled as patches for a garment or other item in need of repair with visible mending, the idea of creatively repairing a garment resulting in something different but beautiful, though I’m not sure I have the skillset. Do you have any idea how many ways there are to creatively use a FreshDirect bag? Making a purse from a bag is also beyond my skillset, but perhaps not yours.
9. Can you afford it? The foregoing is a compilation of reasons we choose to buy or not to buy, but another consideration is whether this is something you want to spend money on. In the heat of the moment the answer is usually yes.
Take a moment, a few deep breaths, get yourself into the cold, hard light of day and ask if this is where you want your money to go. As the quick fix fades and the pseudo-confidence dissipates, your latest Amazon purchase sits there, a reminder of your less-than-better self. A little contemplation can yield a very different decision.
The next time you’re contemplating the new shirt or couch that will absolutely change your life, or a gift-giving occasion approaches, you might consider where you stand on these questions. Yes, figuring out what you really need in a given moment and repurposing or reusing is more work than just kicking it to the curb, but at what cost? To be egotistically altruistic about it, won’t you feel better if you make some choices for the greater good, your greater good as well as everyone on the planet’s?
“I just wanted to get the stuff out of the house…I sat on the front steps alone, waiting for a sense of ease and peace to settle in the air around me.” Don DeLillo, White Noise
An earlier version of this article was published at YourTango.com.
Visit me at www.drjudithtutin.com to learn more about me and my work.
